The Cult of Cutting Off Your Parents

There’s a fashionable kind of stupidity making the rounds lately…a new-ish badge of honour: “I’ve cut my parents off”

Cutting off your parents isn’t healing… It’s trendy cowardice.

It’s said with the same smug satisfaction people used to reserve for quitting sugar, their new kale-diet, going vegan or ‘no longer chasing’. “Look how evolved I am, see? Look how healed.” No…All I see is how conveniently you’ve rewritten your story.

“Boundaries” somehow morphed from a just a line, to emotional fragility with a superiority complex. It sounds like empowerment, smells like therapy but remains emotional cowardice with a vocabulary upgrade.

The “no contact with your parents” movement has gone from a necessary tool for extreme cases… to a default setting for anyone mildly uncomfortable with their own history.

It’s absurd.

You Don’t Get to Edit Your Origin Story

Here’s the contradiction nobody wants to admit… okay, maybe not no one (Thank you Chris Williamson).

We are remarkably eager to blame our parents for everything that’s wrong with us, and equally eager to take full credit for everything that’s right.

Anxiety? “My upbringing.”
Trust issues? “My parents.”
Anger? “My childhood.”

BUT;

Work ethic? “That’s all me.”
Resilience? “I built that.”
Discipline? “I taught myself.”

Really? So, your parents wrote the bugs in your software…but somehow you coded the entire operating system yourself? That’s intellectual dishonesty dressed up as self-awareness, it’s not healing… it’s not “honouring yourself”.


The Most Convenient Villains You’ll Ever Have

Your parents are the perfect scapegoats… far enough in the past that they can’t defend themselves properly, close enough that you can blame them for everything and human enough that you can be guaranteed, that they absolutely made mistakes.

Yet they are good enough for you to build your identity on them and those mistakes. Your anxiety? Them. Your anger? Them. Your inability to maintain relationships? Definitely them.

But then something fascinating happens. Your discipline? That’s you. Your success? You built that.
Your resilience? Oh, that came from your “shadow work.”

Amazing! So they ruined your life…but somehow you alone built everything worthwhile in it? Is that self-awareness or just narrative manipulation? You don’t have to answer my, but at least be honest with yourself?

Pick a fckn Lane

You don’t get to be a self-made masterpiece and a traumatised victim of your upbringing at the same time. Pick one. If your parents installed all your flaws, then they also installed the parts of you that function. If they’re responsible for your cracks, they’re also responsible for your foundation.

We’ve created this bizarre moral loophole…Parents are held infinitely accountable for our wounds,
and completely irrelevant to our strengths. It’s a rigged system. One where they can only lose.

If they’re responsible for your fragility, then they’re also responsible for your resilience.

If they shaped your fears, then they also shaped your capacity to overcome them.

You don’t get to keep the credit and outsource the blame. Pick a lane.

Disappointed you Got Humans, Instead of Gods

Here’s another uncomfortable truth… Most people cutting off their parents aren’t reacting to abuse.
They’re reacting to disappointment. Whilst we’re all fighting our own self-worth-demons and not feeling ENOUGH, we project…

Parents weren’t evolved enough, aware enough, soft enough, healed enough, present enough or ‘safe’ enough. They were human… Flawed, inconsistent, sometimes selfish, sometimes loving, mostly just overwhelmed humans trying to raise another human without a manual.

And somehow, decades later, the child decides; “You failed to meet standards I only learned about on the internet last year… so you’re out, don’t call me.” They were exactly what you are now… just earlier in the timeline. But instead of recognising that, you sit on your morally elevated perch, armed with therapy language and TikTok diagnoses, judging people who raised you without the tools you now take for granted.

You expected wisdom they were never taught, nervous system regulation they never learned and language they didn’t have…and now you punish them for it.

That’s not justice, it’s arrogance (I know, because I am arrogant).

Therapy Has Been Weaponised

Thanks to this Cut-Parent-Cult, I might never learn anything about boundaries… because the word makes me vomit a little in my own mouth!
Boundaries used to mean something, now they’re often just well-articulated avoidance. Instead of learning to have difficult conversations, we cut people off. Instead of confronting complexity, we simplify it into villains, victims and heroes. Instead of growing up, we curate our relationships like we curate our social media feeds.

Other regurgitation worthy terms include; “Protecting my peace”, “Setting boundaries”, “Honouring my inner child.” These used to mean something… Now they’re just elegant ways of saying: “I don’t want to deal with anything that makes me uncomfortable.”

You’ve turned growth into avoidance and somehow convinced yourself it’s progress? Can you see that? Or am I crazy?

You’re Unchallenged, not healed… there’s a difference. It’s easy to feel calm when you’ve removed every person who ‘triggers’ (another word that is touch and go) you.

You didn’t grow beyond the problem, you just deleted the environment that exposed it.

Forgiveness Requires Honesty

It’s much easier to hate your parents when you pretend they only gave you your damage, scars and wounds…yet, the moment you admit they also gave you the strengths that built you… the story becomes complicated. (Because then you can’t be the victim)

It’s deeply inconvenient to admit that the same people you blame for your wounds are the reason you survived them. The same people you resent are woven into every strength you’re proud of.

Forgiveness thrives in balance; but it’s hard to hold two truths at once…They hurt you and they helped you… They failed you and they formed you.

Cult forth if you Must…

If they’re responsible for all your flaws, the source of what broken within… are you willing to give them credit for everything good and strong in you? If the answer is no, then I think you’re not seeking healing, you’re just seeking a scapegoat.

Please Cut-Off-Community… don’t waste precious time… Embody these ‘healed creatures’ you claim to have become… “The ultimate goal is for the more conscious partner to empower the other to join them in awareness, rather than becoming a “manager” of the relationship.” 

If you’re still here, still reading; then you are most likely a parent… on the receiving end of the blame train… I am so so sorry. I believe no parent intentionally causes harm to their child! If you know you did the best you could with what you knew and what you had at the time; the I beg you; don’t feed into this madness.


MikiK