Venting Voice, be warned!
Someone sent me a video a while ago about me being an ‘avoidant’ and I made the mistake of letting it play in the back ground while I go pee!! By the time I finished my morning routine and sat down with my 3rd coffee; this video played on repeat for close to 30 minutes.
So of course… what do you think happened to my algorithm? (swear words, shitty emojis and a dash of What have you done!?)
And instead of just redirecting and letting my self-inflicted algo-frustration clear itself out; I chose self-reflection; ‘maybe it’s time, divine intervention and I need to listen up and grow and heal’; so I stayed a little, I listened to these Avoidant/Dismissive Avoidant attachment style pieces of content.
Rolling my eyes like a teenager… mostly at myself, because why did I feel the need to comment, that only cements this crap into my feed/fyp. Argggghhh!!
Yeah yeah, I hear you barking in the back; I am indeed triggered and reacting; but not due to my rejection or denial of a label you need this badly.
I know I am an Avoidant.
As an ‘Avoidant’, I am listening to people (from all sides of the ‘attachment-style-square’); making “How to”-videos addressing their fellow labelled – AND GIVING SHAIT ADVICE!
I’m as amused as I am frustrated; because truthfully; if you love an avoidant – I hope you know that sitting them down, slowly and calmly, expressing your need to talk about 4 things blah intention, blah boundaries, blah blah I need and blah won’t tolerate and … SEE, I don’t even know because ‘Avoidants’ AVOID conversations like that. It falls under ‘drama’. Meaning unproductive, not constructive, inefficient and draining.
I was close to being motivated to actually make a video myself! Just to help you guys with some actual advice from an actual avoidant… then realised: ‘… drama. Meaning unproductive, not constructive, inefficient and draining.’ I don’t even know you, why waste energy explaining the simplicity of your avoidant in something as complex as words?
Besides, all I really wanted to say to you is; Stop watching those videos. And if you’re making them (even when you have finally ‘cracked’ your avoidant and now think you’re an expert) Please STOP making them. Just don’t.
Love always (albeit from a safe distance)
M
(Song recommendation: Water by Aisha Badru)
